The Growth of a Rose

The Growth of a Rose

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring” ~ Marilyn Monroe

Beauty is something that surrounds us everyday, and it’s nearly impossible to avoid! It’s in our bodies, in our souls, and everywhere throughout the world around us. When it comes to beauty standards for our bodies, today’s society tends to have a strict set of rules that you must follow, or else you won’t fit the mold. Women and men, alike, are beginning to buckle under the stress of the countless stereotypes we have created for their genders, and more and more dangers are arising from this. When did beauty become something physical? And beyond that, when did it become the image of ribs poking through skin and gaps between thighs? Is it possible our modern day world has forgotten what true beauty is, and chooses to focus on the physical aspects of it, but ignores any other form of it? In a world that’s constantly changing it’s important to remember where we began, and in the world of beauty, I believe maybe that’s where we should start.

Like with most things, we begin our journey in Ancient Egypt. Egypt actually didn’t treat women all that badly, and encouraged their independance and beauty. In this era women were seen as more desirable if they were slender, had narrow shoulders, a high waist, and a Symmetrical face. These standards, however, seem to do a complete 180 degree turn in Ancient Greece, where women were expected to be plump, and full bodied. In fact, it was actually the men who were held against ‘perfect body’ standards rather than the women. If we follow these trends to the modern day world, you’ll find that they basically change from plump to skinny every few hundred or so years. Think about it.

During the Victorian era, ladies were to be ‘desirably plump’, but still maintain a cinched waist, most achieved this with corsets, but in the Roaring Twenties, we have nearly the complete opposite! The 1920’s was a time of flat chests, boyish figures, and short hair. Fast forward another 10-20 years and you have the Hollywood era, where curvy women such as Marilyn Monroe were place under the spotlight for their hourglass figure, large breasts, and the perfect amount of thickness.

I’m afraid that was the last era to support thicker women, as the following commanded, sickly thin stomachs, but toned hips and butt. In the 1980’s, during a time the beauty world calls the ‘supermodel era’, women strived for that thin, athletic body. This caused an upswing in anorexia, and obsessions with dieting and exercise. It pains me to say that today we are not much better. Today’s society’s ideal body for a woman is flat stomached, ‘healthily’ skinny, and large breasted, with a thigh gap. These standards are nearly impossible to match, and a lot of women have resorted to either anorexia or plastic surgery to meet these views.

It’s a horrible thing indeed. If we look back at what we have perceived as beautiful in the past, you’ll find nearly every single body type. It shows us that you are beautiful, no matter your size, shape or colour; that everyone has their own perception of what is physically beautiful. It’s almost bizarre to think that these standards, that bounce back and forth, have been the cause of millions of people’s insecurities throughout the decades, and have caused things such as anorexia, depression, anxiety, low self esteem, and in worst case scenarios even suicidal tendencies to happen. Unfortunately these kind of things happen when we focus on what is physically gorgeous about a person, and completely ignore who they are as a person and the things that they have done.

Following that note, as stated before, beauty is not restricted to just the physical aspects of an object. For example, when we think of seasons we don’t think that they’re beautiful because of how they look; we also take in the enjoyments that each season gives us. If we can do this with seasons and many other objects, why can’t we do it with ourselves and the people around us?

I have done research on various websites, all asking the same question. “What are the different types of beauty?” I am ashamed to say that all that appeared was, yet again, the physical traits of a person. It pains me to know that society has fallen so low that we have apparently forgotten that life is more than just looks, but about the experiences you have and the people you meet. Kahlil Gibran once said “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is in a light in the heart.”, and I have to say that I cannot agree with her more. There are many thing that make a person beautiful beyond their body.

The first being one’s actions, and how they look at the world. Look at different icons such as Martin Luther King Jr, J.K. Rowling, Marilyn Monroe, and stars like Beyonce, P!nk, and Emma Watson, every single one of these people all have one thing in common; they stand up for what they believe in, and try to make the world a better place. For M.L. King Jr. it was segregation and African American rights, for J.K. Rowling it’s kids in foster system and orphanages (Don’t believe me? Look up the Lumos Charity Foundation), for Marilyn Monroe it was simply helping anyone she possibly could with what she had. As for the lovely Beyonce, P!nk, and Emma Watson they’re all feminists and are not afraid to speak their mind on women’s rights. These people are beautiful, not because of their fame, but because they show compassion, and empathy. They’re fierce, strong, and passionate. Sadly, a lot of people look over the wonderful things that these people, and so many others have done, just because of their appearance, or for one mistake, or because they think that all they are is a celebrity, and not a human being. When in reality, these people are just ordinary, people doing spectacular things.

The second thing is the way we treat people. There’s a quote that says “How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.” It means that the way we speak to and treat other people really unveils who you are as a person. If you’re mean, and cruel to a person repeatedly this could mean two or three things: a) You’re just genuinely a terrible person, who doesn’t like the world for some reason. b) Something is going on in your life, and this is how you’ve chosen to cope. or  c) You’re jealous of the person you are picking on. But, if you are that person who is getting picked on, and yet you still show compassion, and try to see the best in the person bullying you, that makes you a truly spectacular, and gorgeous human being. It’s the type of beauty that we sometimes see in the innocence of infancy before the reality has had a chance to dump itself all over children’s dreams. This form of beauty is truly pure and innocent. Personally, this is my favourite kind, and it’s the one that I strive to achieve the most.

These kinds of beauty are things that you can find in day to day life. For all you know, up to now, I could’ve just been spewing random nonsense, but our world really is beginning to see beauty for what it truly is, the heart. I, for one, witness it everyday. I have participated in 4 different pageants and am proud to say that they do not follow their stereotype what so ever; in fact pageants aren’t even titled ‘beauty pageants’ anymore as they focus on things beyond looks. In each of these pageants that I have entered, the contests are judged not based on our appearance, or body size, but on our personalities during our interview, our grace on stage, the authenticity of our nature. Judges now focus on each contestant individually for who they are. The effect that this is having is amazing! Girl’s of all body sizes are now joining pageants and are being filled with a new sense of confidence and self-love. I know because I am one of those girls. Before I started the whole pageant thing, my self-esteem was lower than the bottom of the ocean, and I was constantly aware of how I looked and what other people may be thinking of me. Now, even though I still have a hard time seeing it sometimes, I know that it doesn’t matter what my weight is or what other people think about how I look. All that matters is that I am comfortable with who I am, and that I try and see the good in everyone that I meet.

Shortly after my first pageant, I wrote a poem titled ‘Who I Am’, in it I talked about how it can feel that we are a certain emotion sometimes, but in the end it’s not our past that controls us, or anyone else. We are our own person. I end the poem by saying this:  

“Because all though I'm scared to confess this,

And all though it fills me with rage every time I look back at my past,

And fills me with sadness when I look at some of the stuff that's happened;

It's part of who I am.

I've allowed myself to drown in fear.

I've exploded, and demolished entire friendships with my anger.

I've hidden myself in sadness.

Because that was me.

But I've also laughed at memories of my childhood.

I've shrieked and howled in happiness as I've adventured outside of my home,

I've cried tears of joy as I've told my friends my story, and have them support me.

Because throughout all of this, I've really learned one thing.

Maybe I wear weird clothes, and talk to myself sometimes.

Maybe I obsess over strange things and talk non-stop about said things.

Maybe I'd rather spend my time in a library reading, than sit at a table of strangers,

Maybe I dream wild things, and rebel against others to prove myself right.

Maybe I am different.

But that's okay.

Because different is beautiful.

It's unique, creative, fantastic, mystical, enchanting and simply, fascinating.

Different is being able to say, "Yah, I did that." And not give a damn what others think.

Because you are you.

You may not be a model, or a pop star, or an athlete, or smart.

But you are special, and that's gorgeous.

So yeah, I am different.

And that's what makes me proud of who I am.”

In other words, beauty is more than what we look like. It’s something that has changed, and will continue to change, as time goes on. It something that reflects who we are as a person, and mirrors our personalities in the everything we do. It’s more than just models walking down a runway, and makeup, and fancy dresses. At the end of the day beauty is really only one thing.

It’s who you are.

To be a Queen

To be a Queen


Hello My Beauties,


   This past September I decided to do something ambitious and fun, and actually social for once. I entered a beauty pageant, and that's not even the crazy part...I won.


Here's the full story: Every year the local fair, the Albert County Exhibition, has a country beauty pageant for girls ages 13-18 as the grand opening of the exhibition, This has been a tradition for years, and every year 9-12 girls enter, and compete to see who has the brightest personality, and who is the most beautiful inside and out.


Of course I've always known about the pageant and had gone to the fair grounds to watch it annually, and just like every other little girl I had dreamed about being in it and winning. But as I got older, I became more and more aware of my body, and to be honest, I didn't always like what I saw. So when I finally became old enough to join, I just sat on the bleachers and watched from a distance, instead of joining the rest of my friends on the stage.


One thing you should know, is that I'm pretty close with the director of the pageant, and when she heard that I was not entering that year, she came to find me as soon as she could. She told me that she thought I would of been perfect for the pageant, and that she would of loved to see me up there. I simply explained that I just wasn't feeling it that year.


A year passes, and people are beginning to sign up for the pageant again. I had thought about it that entire year and asked plenty of people for the opinion on it, and they all had the same answer.
"Do it! It'll be an amazing experience!" So, with a bit of hesitation, I joined.


The moment I pressed send on the email, my brain began to over think everything. I knew that it was my first year entering, and I was most likely going to be the thickest/curviest girl there, and I'm not exactly popular, so I thought there was no chance in hell that I could even get runner up.


 The weeks slugged by in an agonizingly slow pace, but sooner than I had hoped, the day of the pageant arrived.


My older sister had come over to help me prepare, and to take some pre-pageant pictures. And before I knew it she had dropped me off at the assigned building for the interviews.

I remember walking into the building, feeling like my heart was going to fly straight out of my chest, and that I had a huge lump sitting inside my throat. But despite my quickly rising anxieties, I kept walking until I reached the sitting room.


I noticed 5 things straight away about the other contestants.

1. They were all blond or light haired.
2. They all go to my school and are in the same friend group, a.k.a, the popular girls.
3. They were all smaller than me.
4. I was the only one with a dress that had multiple colours.
5. They were all looking directly at me.

Each set of eyes felt like a set of scanners that was taking in every single possible flaw on me, each whisper felt like someone was ripping bits and pieces of me apart, and the overall experience felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over top of me.

With a shaky breath I began to approach the table, painting a smile onto my face and giving them a cheerful 'Hello'.

The rest of the wait time was more than awkward for me. The group of friends were gossiping among each other about any recent drama that had happened in school, I on the other had a very quiet conversation with the shy person on my right.


It wasn't until the interviews had begun, and some one had come to give a presentation on another pageant that would be happening that I had finally become comfortable.


Since my last name began with 'W' I was one of the last people to be called by the judges. In the meantime I sat through two presentations, ate a bit of food, and practiced the dance that we would be expected to preform later that night.


In the end all the presentations in the world couldn't of held it off, and the dreaded moment had finally came.


"Brooklyn Wilkins? We're ready for you now."


After a few deep breaths I got up, and followed the man to the judges room, the advice from my friends and family running through my head.


'Just be yourself, you'll do great.'
'Don't be scared, be confident in everything you say.'
'Don't lie about who you are or what you do. Let them see the person we all love.'


With the words of encouragement imbedding themselves in my brain, I was ready.


The judges had asked me a series of questions. Some were about me, and my hobbies and interests, others were about what I do in my community, or asked about my involvement in the fair and what I would change about it. I listened to parents and answered every question with my heart, keeping a very real smile on my face the entire time. I discovered that being myself was working, when halfway through the interview one of the judges stated,
 'You seem very passionate about everything you say, leading into the next question-'
from that point on I couldn't help but feel as though I actually had a shot at this thing.


Once the interview was finally over, the hard part was done, and all that was left was the dance and  the crowning ceremony.


Now one thing I haven't told you, is that all the contestants of the pageant choreographed the dance ourselves, the original choreographer had gotten sick the night before, leaving all the planning in our hands. Somehow knowing this left me feeling more confident in my performance, that night, and when the country song 'Head Over Boots' by Jon Pardi began to play, I knew that dance like the back of my hand, and let my soul take control as everyone began to dance.


Unfortunately, after the fun dancing part, came the heart stopping, adrenaline pumping part. The crowning.


I remember there sitting in my chair, the sentence 'And the 2016 Albert County Exhibition Queen is... Brooklyn Wilkins!' whispering tauntingly in the back of my head, but I quickly corrected myself, reminding myself that it was my first year, and there were some girls here that had been in it multiple times, that the crown usually went to a grad student, and that I was only in grade 10.


They announced the Miss Congeniality, a girl who had talked to basically everyone, and helped out a lot in the dance, I myself had voted for her.


2nd Princess, a girl who was in my grade, and actually a some what close friend of mine.


1st Princess was surprisingly the same girl who one Miss Congeniality!


And then it was time for the Queen. At this point I had told myself 'Well, there's always next year' , and my older sister told me that she had actually began to put away her camera.


The judge began to give the usual speech. 'Before I announce this years Queen, I just like to say that we would give it to all of you if we could, you are all such amazing young ladies, but sadly we cannot. So this years Albert County Exhibition Queen is... Brooklyn Wilkins.'


I could of sworn I got whiplash from how fast my head shot up. In a daze of shock, I stood up, walking towards last years Queen, who traditionally crowns the new queen, and allowed her to place a sash reading 'ACE QUEEN 2016' in bold, gold letters, a velvety, purple cape, and of course a beautiful tiara on me. I could hear the area where my family was sitting screaming in applause. I remember being herded towards the other winners for pictures, lots of pictures, and repeating the judges words in my head.

I don't think it even really sunk in until I saw my family waiting for me by stage. We laughed and cried and took even more pictures, and I was honestly the happiest I had been in a long time.


The rest of the weekend was spent with me giving up many hours for my 'Queenly Duties' This included participating in a parade, handing out ribbons for the many contests and events, accepting many 'congratulations', and visiting the local nursing home. In total I spent a tiring 37 hours there that weekend, and was pooped out by the time it was all over.

     Now this wouldn't be a 'Nerdy Blogger' post if I didn't include some kind of life lesson, or deep take on this entire thing.


What I really learned from that weekend is don't underestimate yourself, that you are capable than so much more than you think, and that it doesn't matter your size, race, hair colour, eye colour, gender, anything, all that matters is it's what you hold on the inside that counts.


 And I know that all sounds so very cliché but it's the truth! I don't care if you are small or big, short or tall, black or white. If you are kind, and nice to those around you, even if they aren't so nice to you, you are truly gorgeous and it's up to you to show off that beauty to the world.


And if you find your way to shine, but you think that you can't do it, or that you'd only fail in the end, don't listen to yourself. Take it from me, accepting that one opportunity can open a world of other doors, because of that weekend I was invited to enter the Miss Teen Atlantic Canada pageant in Dieppe and was encouraged to enter by an army of people.


So when life gives you an opportunity, please give yourself the biggest gift you can and accept it.


Always Smiling,
The Nerdy Blogger
(Brooklyn Wilkins)


P.S. QUOTE OF THE POST!! "They asked her 'How did you free yourself?' She answered 'By embracing my own power.' ~ Yung Pueblo