Living

Life is more than just being alive.
It’s more than just waking up, going to work, eating, coming home, and going to bed.
It’s learning to love, learning to fall, learning to thrive.

There’s more to life than the same old everyday routine.
If you find yourself dragging yourself out of bed, and walking through your day as if you’re on auto-drive,
That’s not living.
It’s not even close.

That’s more like living the life of a ghost.
Someone who is floating lifelessly, unsure of their destination,
Not knowing when their next break or chance to get away is.

That’s someone frozen in their seat
as the world spins quickly around them.
They watch with a frown and wonder if this is how it ends.

Is this all I’m meant to become, or is there so much more to me?
And if there is, then why can’t I seem to find that side of me and let it free?
My world’s getting colder, and colder with every breath that I breathe,
And I’m beginning to wonder if I should just give up, and let it be.

In an instant, everything goes still, and time doesn’t change.
Life is filled with moments like these,
Where we are presented with an opportunity to do what we will.
We can walk away from it, play it safe, and maintain the routine.
Or we can grasp it with two hands, and tun with our dreams.

True, it’s risky.
There’s a chance it won’t work.
That we’ll be thrown back by our mistakes,
and we’ll have to take time to re-work,
everything that we know, and create a new path.

But we’ll push forward,
and learn to deal with the aftermath.

We’ll find a different way, and create something new.
We’ll form new bonds that are different than the ones we outgrew.
Each day will be different,
and if not then at least we’re doing something we love.

Now we’re doing something exciting, creative, fun, smart, enlightening,
or all of the above.
Now we’re chasing after our passions,
and have nothing that we’re scared of.

Instead of staying behind,
We’re dancing to the beat.
We’re not getting out of the kitchen,
because we know we can take the heat.

Life is full of setbacks,
and monsters that will do their best to make you feel incomplete.
They fill your head with lies or worthlessness and defeat.

But deep down we know we’re stronger than any of the gashes that they leave.
After all, in order for a phoenix to rise,
it must first burn to ashes
before taking flight.

Change is out there,
you just have to be brave enough to grab it.
Don’t let it scare you,
or force you to submit.

You must fight back, and take what is rightfully yours.

Only then will you truly be living.
Only then will you soar.

~Brooklyn Wilkins

From Campus to Campus

From Campus to Campus

As the deadline for many early college and university applications draw near, there’s one question that’s bouncing around in the minds of graduates and grade 11 students alike, “Where am I going to go after I finish high school?”. The question’s not an easy one, and any restrictions for the question may vary depending on the person’s situation. But as a grade 11 student myself, and having done several campus tours, I have found different variables that remain the same that each student should look for in a university. Whether you’re doing a bachelor’s of science, art, music, medicine, or anything else, this may be a helpful guideline on how to find the perfect university for you.

Step 1: Research

If you’re picky, like myself, you may want to go to school that has an excellent course in your field of interest, or may even be known for it. A good place to start is to google the top 10 best schools with that program in your country, state, or province. Personally this helped me narrow down my list, and opened my eyes to what I wanted in a school. If you don’t know what course you want to go in, or if you simply are not sure if that school is for you, don’t panic. You can also look up local universities or colleges and see if that sparks any interest. Perhaps the best thing you can do if you’re completely unsure of what, or where you want to go or do, is to take a campus tour. Even if you don’t end up going there, or completely hated the tour, this gives you an idea of what you want and don’t want in a school. Best case scenario you fall in love with the college and get to see the campus, and city around it, in person!

Step 2: Common Interests

When choosing your school, it’s extremely important to keep in mind that this is the place you’re going to be living in or at least spending most of your time at, for at least a year. This place needs to be somewhere that you can feel safe in, but also somewhere that’s cosy. At this stage you should be looking into things like how nice the dorms are, or if they have any clubs that match your hobbies. You should also keep in mind, the environment of different schools in different cities. There’s a huge difference if you’re from a small town, like myself, with a school of 300 students in the middle school and high school combined, and then jump into a big city university with over 20 000 students. I’m not saying that adapting between environments is impossible, but it’s something that can be difficult for people. See if the school has resources that help make the transition easier; talk to some people who have been to that school, or an academic advisor at the school. You may find that the change is doable, or maybe you want to stick to a smaller school. Both of these options are perfectly fine, and it’s actually quite common to find a bigger school partnered with a smaller one, that way you get the best of both worlds!

Step 3: Resources

As I mentioned before, the school that you choose has to be somewhere that you feel safe. This is where checking to see if they have the right resources for you comes in. The very first thing you should check is the campus security. In my opinion every school should have strong campus security, and so far all the campuses I have toured do have one. One thing that I do personally look for, security wise in a school, is the walking buddy system. It’s this thing where they have a group of students that, when called or messaged, will come to you and walk you to your dorm or apartment within a certain distance. This makes sure that every student is safe, and leaves them at less of a risk. Another thing to keep in mind, is different health facilities. Do they have a clinic either on campus or near by? Do they offer health and dental insurance? Do they have a counsellor or mental health advisor? Is the school considered a safe space? Depending on your needs these are extremely important questions to ask, or to research.

Step 4: Job Opportunities, Internships, and Co-op

There’s no denying that secondary education is expensive. But there is a way to avoid being jobless while being in school. A lot of schools have on-campus jobs that vary from campus security, to bookstore cashier, some even offer payment for you to take extra notes in certain classes so that those who weren’t that day can still know what they missed. It’s just a little thing that can make college life a little easier. Of course, there’s also opportunities like internships and co-ops. These things don’t usually become available until third, fourth, and rarely second, year, so you don’t need to worry too much. Still, you may choose to see how many they have available, or if there’s a guaranteed one in your programme.

So there you have it! Follow these four steps and you may find making a decision for your perfect university or college a little easier. Just be sure to remember, you could have all these traits in your secondary education, but if you’re not doing something you love, you’ll never be truly happy there. These are general guidelines, applicable for everyone, but your university experience is personal.

Make it yours.  

The Growth of a Rose

The Growth of a Rose

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring” ~ Marilyn Monroe

Beauty is something that surrounds us everyday, and it’s nearly impossible to avoid! It’s in our bodies, in our souls, and everywhere throughout the world around us. When it comes to beauty standards for our bodies, today’s society tends to have a strict set of rules that you must follow, or else you won’t fit the mold. Women and men, alike, are beginning to buckle under the stress of the countless stereotypes we have created for their genders, and more and more dangers are arising from this. When did beauty become something physical? And beyond that, when did it become the image of ribs poking through skin and gaps between thighs? Is it possible our modern day world has forgotten what true beauty is, and chooses to focus on the physical aspects of it, but ignores any other form of it? In a world that’s constantly changing it’s important to remember where we began, and in the world of beauty, I believe maybe that’s where we should start.

Like with most things, we begin our journey in Ancient Egypt. Egypt actually didn’t treat women all that badly, and encouraged their independance and beauty. In this era women were seen as more desirable if they were slender, had narrow shoulders, a high waist, and a Symmetrical face. These standards, however, seem to do a complete 180 degree turn in Ancient Greece, where women were expected to be plump, and full bodied. In fact, it was actually the men who were held against ‘perfect body’ standards rather than the women. If we follow these trends to the modern day world, you’ll find that they basically change from plump to skinny every few hundred or so years. Think about it.

During the Victorian era, ladies were to be ‘desirably plump’, but still maintain a cinched waist, most achieved this with corsets, but in the Roaring Twenties, we have nearly the complete opposite! The 1920’s was a time of flat chests, boyish figures, and short hair. Fast forward another 10-20 years and you have the Hollywood era, where curvy women such as Marilyn Monroe were place under the spotlight for their hourglass figure, large breasts, and the perfect amount of thickness.

I’m afraid that was the last era to support thicker women, as the following commanded, sickly thin stomachs, but toned hips and butt. In the 1980’s, during a time the beauty world calls the ‘supermodel era’, women strived for that thin, athletic body. This caused an upswing in anorexia, and obsessions with dieting and exercise. It pains me to say that today we are not much better. Today’s society’s ideal body for a woman is flat stomached, ‘healthily’ skinny, and large breasted, with a thigh gap. These standards are nearly impossible to match, and a lot of women have resorted to either anorexia or plastic surgery to meet these views.

It’s a horrible thing indeed. If we look back at what we have perceived as beautiful in the past, you’ll find nearly every single body type. It shows us that you are beautiful, no matter your size, shape or colour; that everyone has their own perception of what is physically beautiful. It’s almost bizarre to think that these standards, that bounce back and forth, have been the cause of millions of people’s insecurities throughout the decades, and have caused things such as anorexia, depression, anxiety, low self esteem, and in worst case scenarios even suicidal tendencies to happen. Unfortunately these kind of things happen when we focus on what is physically gorgeous about a person, and completely ignore who they are as a person and the things that they have done.

Following that note, as stated before, beauty is not restricted to just the physical aspects of an object. For example, when we think of seasons we don’t think that they’re beautiful because of how they look; we also take in the enjoyments that each season gives us. If we can do this with seasons and many other objects, why can’t we do it with ourselves and the people around us?

I have done research on various websites, all asking the same question. “What are the different types of beauty?” I am ashamed to say that all that appeared was, yet again, the physical traits of a person. It pains me to know that society has fallen so low that we have apparently forgotten that life is more than just looks, but about the experiences you have and the people you meet. Kahlil Gibran once said “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is in a light in the heart.”, and I have to say that I cannot agree with her more. There are many thing that make a person beautiful beyond their body.

The first being one’s actions, and how they look at the world. Look at different icons such as Martin Luther King Jr, J.K. Rowling, Marilyn Monroe, and stars like Beyonce, P!nk, and Emma Watson, every single one of these people all have one thing in common; they stand up for what they believe in, and try to make the world a better place. For M.L. King Jr. it was segregation and African American rights, for J.K. Rowling it’s kids in foster system and orphanages (Don’t believe me? Look up the Lumos Charity Foundation), for Marilyn Monroe it was simply helping anyone she possibly could with what she had. As for the lovely Beyonce, P!nk, and Emma Watson they’re all feminists and are not afraid to speak their mind on women’s rights. These people are beautiful, not because of their fame, but because they show compassion, and empathy. They’re fierce, strong, and passionate. Sadly, a lot of people look over the wonderful things that these people, and so many others have done, just because of their appearance, or for one mistake, or because they think that all they are is a celebrity, and not a human being. When in reality, these people are just ordinary, people doing spectacular things.

The second thing is the way we treat people. There’s a quote that says “How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.” It means that the way we speak to and treat other people really unveils who you are as a person. If you’re mean, and cruel to a person repeatedly this could mean two or three things: a) You’re just genuinely a terrible person, who doesn’t like the world for some reason. b) Something is going on in your life, and this is how you’ve chosen to cope. or  c) You’re jealous of the person you are picking on. But, if you are that person who is getting picked on, and yet you still show compassion, and try to see the best in the person bullying you, that makes you a truly spectacular, and gorgeous human being. It’s the type of beauty that we sometimes see in the innocence of infancy before the reality has had a chance to dump itself all over children’s dreams. This form of beauty is truly pure and innocent. Personally, this is my favourite kind, and it’s the one that I strive to achieve the most.

These kinds of beauty are things that you can find in day to day life. For all you know, up to now, I could’ve just been spewing random nonsense, but our world really is beginning to see beauty for what it truly is, the heart. I, for one, witness it everyday. I have participated in 4 different pageants and am proud to say that they do not follow their stereotype what so ever; in fact pageants aren’t even titled ‘beauty pageants’ anymore as they focus on things beyond looks. In each of these pageants that I have entered, the contests are judged not based on our appearance, or body size, but on our personalities during our interview, our grace on stage, the authenticity of our nature. Judges now focus on each contestant individually for who they are. The effect that this is having is amazing! Girl’s of all body sizes are now joining pageants and are being filled with a new sense of confidence and self-love. I know because I am one of those girls. Before I started the whole pageant thing, my self-esteem was lower than the bottom of the ocean, and I was constantly aware of how I looked and what other people may be thinking of me. Now, even though I still have a hard time seeing it sometimes, I know that it doesn’t matter what my weight is or what other people think about how I look. All that matters is that I am comfortable with who I am, and that I try and see the good in everyone that I meet.

Shortly after my first pageant, I wrote a poem titled ‘Who I Am’, in it I talked about how it can feel that we are a certain emotion sometimes, but in the end it’s not our past that controls us, or anyone else. We are our own person. I end the poem by saying this:  

“Because all though I'm scared to confess this,

And all though it fills me with rage every time I look back at my past,

And fills me with sadness when I look at some of the stuff that's happened;

It's part of who I am.

I've allowed myself to drown in fear.

I've exploded, and demolished entire friendships with my anger.

I've hidden myself in sadness.

Because that was me.

But I've also laughed at memories of my childhood.

I've shrieked and howled in happiness as I've adventured outside of my home,

I've cried tears of joy as I've told my friends my story, and have them support me.

Because throughout all of this, I've really learned one thing.

Maybe I wear weird clothes, and talk to myself sometimes.

Maybe I obsess over strange things and talk non-stop about said things.

Maybe I'd rather spend my time in a library reading, than sit at a table of strangers,

Maybe I dream wild things, and rebel against others to prove myself right.

Maybe I am different.

But that's okay.

Because different is beautiful.

It's unique, creative, fantastic, mystical, enchanting and simply, fascinating.

Different is being able to say, "Yah, I did that." And not give a damn what others think.

Because you are you.

You may not be a model, or a pop star, or an athlete, or smart.

But you are special, and that's gorgeous.

So yeah, I am different.

And that's what makes me proud of who I am.”

In other words, beauty is more than what we look like. It’s something that has changed, and will continue to change, as time goes on. It something that reflects who we are as a person, and mirrors our personalities in the everything we do. It’s more than just models walking down a runway, and makeup, and fancy dresses. At the end of the day beauty is really only one thing.

It’s who you are.

A Universal Experience

A Universal Experience


From classics like Psycho, Child's Play, and Jurassic Park, to more modern films like The Mummy, Fast and Furious, and Les Miserable, and even farther to their animation studio, Illumination, that has made hits like The Lorax,  Despicable Me,  and Sing, Universal has been cranking out movie magic since it first started in 1912. This well experience company has made many movie favourites, but has also churned out not one, but two amusement parks. This summer I had the chance to go to the one in beautiful Los Angeles, California for the first time. So allow me to lead you through the my first visit to Universal Studios Hollywood

First off, I'd like to say a huge thank you to Emily C. for giving my family and I the opportunity to have the ultimate Universal experience. Our day was amazing, and big part of that was because of you, thank you.


Now let's be honest, Universal Studios Hollywood, is a lot smaller than the one in Orland, Florida, but that doesn't mean you can't have just as much fun. Probably my favourite thing about Universal Studios, in general, is their simulator rides. These babies make you feel as though you are in the actual movie, or TV show, with out even getting out of your seat. They have one for Transformers, The Simpsons, Despicable me,  and finally, my favourite, Harry Potter.  They give you a chance to ride with the Autobots, and become a freedom fighter, or to fly with Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger, as you fight off dementors, or to cause mayhem in Gru's Lab with the Minions. They take you even farther than your imagination and allow you be apart of their fictional universe in ways that I didn't think were possible. Although they can be hard if you have motion sickness, like my mother who was green in the face by there end of The Simpsons: The Ride, it's still amazing, and each simulation has a crazy amount of detail to the story that they are based on, as does the buildings that the rides are in.


Speaking of the buildings, let's talk about them for a second. As a mentioned Universal definitely has an eye for detail, and they show this in absolutely everything in the park. From the moment you walk in, you are blown away by the all famous Universal globe, but if you look behind it you'll notice a street that's dressed like an older version of New York City. These brick buildings were glorious, and to set the scene, there was actors dressed in their periods accurate costumes talking to each other from their windows, and making jokes about people as they by on the streets below them. And that wasn't even the best part! Gru's house looked exactly like it did in the movie Despicable Me, as did Super Silly Fun Land. This is something that I still have no clue how they did considering the movie was an animation, but every detail was there, from Gru's car, to drawing that Margo, Agnes, and Edith, Gru's adopted daughters, drew on the wall, to little props that you can recognize from the movie, and that was just child's play compared to the beauty that is The Wizarding World of Harry Potter!!

For The Wizarding World of Harry Potter,  Universal Studios really went above and beyond, as a huge Harry Potter fan and a proud Hufflepuff, I entered the area with a very critical eye and was not disappointed. The winter scene that they layed out for Hogsmead was simply magical, and every single thing was perfectly in place. Whether it was the many employees being in wizard clothing, or the Butterbeer carts, or the spots where you could cast spells with purchased wands, or little items and stores that are from the books and movies, it was all there, and I swear I almost cried when I first saw the Hogwarts Castle. Every little detail was there, and it truly made me feel as though I really was a wizard in Hogwarts for a minute, so thank you for allowing me to escape reality and live inside that amazing world of fantasy even if it was for only a little bit.

The best ride in the park is hands down the Jurassic Park water ride. My family and I went on that ride 4 times in 2 hours. The ride is simply stunning, and is a beautiful tribute to the movie as it starts out calm and breath taking, and ends with a scary 50ft T-Rex and a thrilling 84ft plunge. It's a great way to cool off  from the heat, because you will get soaked, and I mean soaked. You can tell the ride is a park favourite, and rightfully so.

Then there's the famous Studio Tour. The tour itself is around 45 minutes, but is well worth it. Complete with behind the scenes tricks, sets and props from your favourite shows and movies, surprise visits from your favourite characters, and two 360, 3-D simulators from Peter Jackson's King Kong, and Fast and Furious, the tour is a must do. It's hosted by the brilliant Jimmy Fallon, and has the perfect balance of information and comedy.

Enough about the rides, and the materialistic things, its time to talk about the overall service and experience. Universal Studios has the best service, and employees, and is the most considerate of the guests. I've been to Disneyworld and Disneyland, and Universal's service put both parks to shame. Their employees were super kind, sweet, and always answered any questions you had with a smile and a joke, without you even having to ask. They have a crazy amount of staff who reach to anyone who looks distressed. They were funny, and got to know the guests they were talking to. They could take a bad mood and make it good again. Not only did the park have water fountains literally everywhere to keep their guests hydrated, along with signs at the end of every ride reminding them to enjoy their day to drink lot's of water, but they had these 'cool stations' all over the place that were fans that sprayed a fine mist onto people who walked by so that you wouldn't suffer from heat stroke. I found this absolutely amazing and super considerate. I probably wouldn't of survived the day if it wasn't for those stations and all the water. I mean a Canadian in +40 degrees Celsius (Around 105 degrees Fahrenheit) doesn't exactly mix well, so I was very thankful for the superb service and all the consideration.

Now if I were to recommend one thing for someone going for their first time, it's to get the Front-Of -The-Line or A-Gate pass. It made all the difference for us, as the lines do tend to get rather long, so the pass is well worth the money. It changes everything, trust me, you won't regret getting it.

After reading this, I hope that you begin to plan your own visit to the park soon, because it is truly amazing, and I can't think of single bad thing to say about it. It is simply magical.

Signing off,

The Nerdy Blogger,

(Brooklyn Wilkins)

P.S. QUOTE OF THE POST: "In dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own." ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter

A Journey Through Self-Love

A Journey Through Self-Love


 "Chubby." "Big" "Annoying" "Stupid" "Know-It-All" "Cry Baby"


    These are all names I was called before I reached the age of 10, by both friends and family. Because of these names and many more, for the past 9 years I have hated myself, and my body. I believed in every single label that people, some whom I knew all my life and others who I just met, had applied to me. In my mind I was a fat, ugly, freak who people would never like, and I hid behind different walls and masks for many of those years.


  But today I am writing this post because I am proud to say that all though I may not love my body completely yet, I am beginning to be happy with who I am. I know that self-love, bullying, and mental health and illnesses are all big topics that we don't talk about often, so please allow me to try and break a little of the stigma around them, as I tell a little bit of my story.


It all started when I was around 7 years old. I was beginning to get a little chubby, and a mixture of friends and family were pointing in this out in subtle ways. I didn't care too much about it then, but I remember that this was the time where I found the very first thing about myself that I hated. My stomach. It was much rounder than the other girls, and wasn't flat. I didn't know what was causing it, but I definitely didn't like it.


 As I got older I only gained more weight, and found more and more things that I despised. My round cheeks, My crooked teeth, my weird legs, my flabby arms, my thunder thighs, my big hips, my acne scared back and chest. Until one day, when I was 10, I looked in the mirror and I couldn't see a single thing that I liked, and I couldn't even recognize myself.


At this age I found myself at an emotional, and mental all time low. Not only did I absolutely hate myself, but I was being picked on at school, and some other things in my life weren't going too well. I fell into depression, and began to build up my walls. From that point on I decided that I wouldn't let people effect me, and that I'd do my very best to make sure nobody felt the way that I felt.


So I entered middle school with a painted smile on my face, although I was dying on the inside. I was terrified, considering my middle school class would be significantly bigger than my elementary classes, meaning there'd be more people who would have the opportunity to judge me.


I did my best not to let this show. I tried out new styles that I thought were 'in' at the moment, and joined as many clubs as I could. I still never felt as if I belonged though, and almost felt as though maybe I just didn't belong anywhere. Even though I had people who I called friends, and was on a variety of teams and groups, I couldn't help but feel that no on would notice if I disappeared.


The following year, this began to change. I met three people, who I finally felt understood. Now I won't say their names, but these people are all still very dear friends of mine today, and have helped me through so much. They helped pick me up off the ground, and encouraged me to be who I am. Together we didn't seem to care what people thought of us, we knew that we had each other and that was all we needed. One of those people moved away about 7 months after I met her, and I'll admit, that took a hit on me. But I knew that I still had to keep going.


The next school year I hit a peak in self-confidence, and another low in body-image. I believed in myself, and knew that I could do whatever I set my mind to. I became President of the Middle School Student Council, and finally found my passion in theatre, art, music, and writing. But I still couldn't stand the sight of myself. I was now very conscious of the fact that I was bigger than a lot of the kids in my class, and began to compare myself to those around me. "Oh I wish I was skinny like her." "Oh I wish I was fit like her." "God I wish I had blue eyes, brown eyes are too average." "I wish I had smaller face. I look like a guy." I wish, I wish, I wish...


I spent so much time hating my body, and wishing to look like other people, that I became lost once again.


In grade 9, I became super lost. I had let myself down and failed at basketball try-outs. I also disappointed myself in drama auditions and was an extra in that years production. I still hid all the pain I felt, especially since I was making some new friends who were super supportive, and did their best to cheer me up. But the moment I got home, it was almost as if I was numb. I could almost physically feel all the energy drain out of me, and began to find it harder and harder to get up in the mornings.


This continued until fall of 2016. I was at home laying in bed, silently wondering the meaning of life as I scrolled through 'Pinterest', when I got an e-mail from a member of my church, someone who had basically watched me grow up. She first asked me why I wasn't in the local pageant that was held every year the previous fall, as the director of the pageant I figured she must ask this to anyone my age who hadn't entered. To be honest I had completely forgotten about the pageant that year, and couldn't of dreamed to enter it, as I saw myself as 'unfit' and 'not good enough' to enter. But I told just told her that I was too busy that year.
"Well I would love it if you entered this year. You're a beautiful young lady, Brooklyn, and I think you'd do great in the pageant." She complimented.
Now as I said, I've known this lady basically my entire life, and I didn't want to let her down, like I had many other people in my life, so I agreed.


To mine, and everyone else's, surprise, I won the pageant, and was now the official ACE Queen 2016, or if you want to be professional Miss Albert County 2016.


There's something about looking yourself in a mirror with your hair and makeup all done, and a tiara on your head, that just make you feel good about yourself. Despite what I had thought for years, someone actually saw something in me, and thought that I would be best suited for a job. To have not only one, but an army of people, that I talked to that weekend, support and believe in me was mind blowing.


As I had more people tell me what they saw in me, I began to see it in myself. I had people saying I was inspirational, talented, smart, confident, amazing, and finally beautiful. Slowly but surly their words began to sink in. That June I took my first big step, and reached out to the school's guidance counselor. She helped me find ways to cope when I get down, and helped me see that it wasn't my responsibility to make sure everything in life goes right, that I can just be myself and live in the moment.


With the help of my super amazing friend, and the endless support from my mom, I began to reach my full potential. I looked in the mirror and would actually see something I liked, and worked hard to make any dreams I have come true. I had finally found myself.


Today I know who I am. I am a confident, creative, and talented young lady, who is not going to let the world pass her by, and will use every opportunity that's given to her to her full advantage. And although I still have thing about my body that I hate, I now have things that I love as well, and know that it doesn't matter what others think of me, but what I think of myself that counts. Even though I still have my bad days, or sometimes weeks, I now smile more, and laugh more than ever, and have opened up to those closest to me.
So why am I writing this post? Because I know that there are people all around that world who struggle with body image and mental health and illness. I just want those people to know that all though it may seem like things will never get better, and that everything is going to hell, that life has a way of straightening things out, and someday things will get better, and the sun will shine again.


Please take care of yourselves, and be safe, and strong, I know you may feel broken, but broken crayons still work, and create beautiful pieces of art. And that's what you are, a work of art. You just need to find your crayon, and finish your master piece. (Does that make any sense?) Basically try new things, find what you love, be who you are, and you'll find that maybe life isn't all that bad after all.  :)


Love,
The Nerdy Blogger
(Brooklyn Wilkins)


P.S. QUOTE OF THE DAY: And I said to my body, softly, "I want to be your friend." It took a long breath and replied, "I have been waiting my whole life for this." ~ Nayyirah Waheed

Miss New Brunswick 2017

Miss New Brunswick 2017


Hello My Sunshines,


       Beaches, clear waters, and outdoor adventures. That is how most people spend their summers, doing something relaxing, and allowing themselves to soak up the sun. But as usual, I decided to try something different this summer.


    Last week I was given the amazing opportunity to take part in the Miss New Brunswick 2017 pageant, and I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences of my life.


   Before I start, allow me to break the stereotypes surrounding pageants. Pageants are portrayed as nothing more than a dog show for women. A place where snobby, sickly thin, women come to compete against each other, just to see who is the most physically beautiful. But that's not the case at all!


Pageants are events filled with genuine, real, and amazing women of all shapes and sizes. They go there for the experience and are well awarded, whether they win or not. They are judged, yes, but they judged on their personality, their involvement in their community, their elegance and poise. A pageant winner is someone who you know is beautiful on the inside and out, and is someone who is kind, and generous.


And never before have I seen a group of such beautiful, and down to earth women, then I did when I went to Miss New Brunswick 2017.


It all started with simple introductions, and name game before we got organized into our rooms. Just sitting at the table with these girls, I knew that the next three days were going to be spectacular. We talked about our hobbies, and what we schools we went to. Each and every girl seemed to glow when they talked about their passion, it was like someone had flicked a light switch. But that meant that they were all proud of who they were, and what they do, and were not ashamed to tell others.


They say it only takes 30 seconds to give a first impression, and I was blown away by these girls.

The Miss New Brunswick 2017 Contestants



Pageant girls need to eat too. :p

Awww, look! It's a heart!

The next three days flew by quickly as they were filled with rehearsals, photo shoots, and a talent show. Before I knew it, we were all lining up to go on stage for our opening number.


The memories I made on the stage that night will last a life time. We danced, posed, spoke, and glided across that stage as we went through opening, casual wear, and then finally formal wear.


Shortly after formal wear they announced the five semi-finalists, I was not one of them, but I didn't feel sad in the slightest. Instead I could feel myself smile wider, and tears begin to line my eyes out of joy and pride for the girls that I had become friends with. Shortly after this moment we went back stage to listen to the former Miss New Brunswick's (Marielle Ouellette) goodbye speech. I had gotten to know her pretty well, and began to down right sob, and I can promise you that I did not stop crying until I left the building that night.


Once I fixed my makeup, and went back on stage with the other girls for crowning, I could feel my heart pound in excitement. I knew the judges must of had the hardest job in the world with this pageant, because I could personally see each and every one of those girls becoming the next Miss New Brunswick.


I remember biting my lip, trying to pull myself together as they called out the titles.


"Miss Talent... Miss Minto! Brooklyn Arsenault!!"
"Miss Congeniality... Miss Nackawic! Ashleigh Corey!!"
"2nd Princess... Mlle Mollusque! Emilie Pichon!!"
"1st Princess... Miss Salmon Festival! Hailey Savoie!!"
"And your Miss New Brunswick 2017 is... Miss Minto! Brooklyn Arsenault!!!!"


After her name was called, and we were sure that we were allowed, all of the contestants rushed in towards Brooklyn, and gave each other all one big hug. We cried congratulations to not just her, but everyone, and talked about how well everyone did.


I may not have officially won anything that night, but I gained a dozen new friends, that I know will support me in the future, and the experience of a life time.


Before I end this post, I would just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who helped me get to the Miss New Brunswick Pageant. If you told me a year ago that I'd be doing stuff like this, I'd think you were insane, but because of the over whelming support of my friends and family, I've flourished into the person that I am today. I'd like to thank Dawne McLean and the ACE Pageant for setting this up for me, and giving me the opportunity to represent our small community, it was an honour. Also a huge thank you to my family, my friends and my coach, Michel Belliveau, for supporting, and helping me prepare for all of this. I never could've done this without you. And how would the pageant come to pass if it weren't for the awesome comity members?! Thank you to everyone who helped make the pageant happen, you all did such a fantastic job, and made the three days truly memorable for us. And finally to my girls, you are all so so amazing, and I am so grateful that I got the chance to meet you all. You truly made those three days the best, and I know that all of you are going to go amazing places in life. Remember that all of you are Queens, no matter what anyone tells you, you girls are simply gorgeous, and no one can take that from you.


So what's the lesson from this? What exactly did I win from those three days? I leave knowing that sometimes the best things in life isn't the things you win, or things that you can hold, but the people that you spend it with and the memories that you take with you when you go.


Signing off,
The Nerdy Blogger,
(Brooklyn Wilkins)


P.S. QUOTE OF THE POST:  Heavy is the crown, and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul. She is you. A warrior. A champion. A fighter. A Queen.    ~ R.H. SIN

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To be a Queen

To be a Queen


Hello My Beauties,


   This past September I decided to do something ambitious and fun, and actually social for once. I entered a beauty pageant, and that's not even the crazy part...I won.


Here's the full story: Every year the local fair, the Albert County Exhibition, has a country beauty pageant for girls ages 13-18 as the grand opening of the exhibition, This has been a tradition for years, and every year 9-12 girls enter, and compete to see who has the brightest personality, and who is the most beautiful inside and out.


Of course I've always known about the pageant and had gone to the fair grounds to watch it annually, and just like every other little girl I had dreamed about being in it and winning. But as I got older, I became more and more aware of my body, and to be honest, I didn't always like what I saw. So when I finally became old enough to join, I just sat on the bleachers and watched from a distance, instead of joining the rest of my friends on the stage.


One thing you should know, is that I'm pretty close with the director of the pageant, and when she heard that I was not entering that year, she came to find me as soon as she could. She told me that she thought I would of been perfect for the pageant, and that she would of loved to see me up there. I simply explained that I just wasn't feeling it that year.


A year passes, and people are beginning to sign up for the pageant again. I had thought about it that entire year and asked plenty of people for the opinion on it, and they all had the same answer.
"Do it! It'll be an amazing experience!" So, with a bit of hesitation, I joined.


The moment I pressed send on the email, my brain began to over think everything. I knew that it was my first year entering, and I was most likely going to be the thickest/curviest girl there, and I'm not exactly popular, so I thought there was no chance in hell that I could even get runner up.


 The weeks slugged by in an agonizingly slow pace, but sooner than I had hoped, the day of the pageant arrived.


My older sister had come over to help me prepare, and to take some pre-pageant pictures. And before I knew it she had dropped me off at the assigned building for the interviews.

I remember walking into the building, feeling like my heart was going to fly straight out of my chest, and that I had a huge lump sitting inside my throat. But despite my quickly rising anxieties, I kept walking until I reached the sitting room.


I noticed 5 things straight away about the other contestants.

1. They were all blond or light haired.
2. They all go to my school and are in the same friend group, a.k.a, the popular girls.
3. They were all smaller than me.
4. I was the only one with a dress that had multiple colours.
5. They were all looking directly at me.

Each set of eyes felt like a set of scanners that was taking in every single possible flaw on me, each whisper felt like someone was ripping bits and pieces of me apart, and the overall experience felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over top of me.

With a shaky breath I began to approach the table, painting a smile onto my face and giving them a cheerful 'Hello'.

The rest of the wait time was more than awkward for me. The group of friends were gossiping among each other about any recent drama that had happened in school, I on the other had a very quiet conversation with the shy person on my right.


It wasn't until the interviews had begun, and some one had come to give a presentation on another pageant that would be happening that I had finally become comfortable.


Since my last name began with 'W' I was one of the last people to be called by the judges. In the meantime I sat through two presentations, ate a bit of food, and practiced the dance that we would be expected to preform later that night.


In the end all the presentations in the world couldn't of held it off, and the dreaded moment had finally came.


"Brooklyn Wilkins? We're ready for you now."


After a few deep breaths I got up, and followed the man to the judges room, the advice from my friends and family running through my head.


'Just be yourself, you'll do great.'
'Don't be scared, be confident in everything you say.'
'Don't lie about who you are or what you do. Let them see the person we all love.'


With the words of encouragement imbedding themselves in my brain, I was ready.


The judges had asked me a series of questions. Some were about me, and my hobbies and interests, others were about what I do in my community, or asked about my involvement in the fair and what I would change about it. I listened to parents and answered every question with my heart, keeping a very real smile on my face the entire time. I discovered that being myself was working, when halfway through the interview one of the judges stated,
 'You seem very passionate about everything you say, leading into the next question-'
from that point on I couldn't help but feel as though I actually had a shot at this thing.


Once the interview was finally over, the hard part was done, and all that was left was the dance and  the crowning ceremony.


Now one thing I haven't told you, is that all the contestants of the pageant choreographed the dance ourselves, the original choreographer had gotten sick the night before, leaving all the planning in our hands. Somehow knowing this left me feeling more confident in my performance, that night, and when the country song 'Head Over Boots' by Jon Pardi began to play, I knew that dance like the back of my hand, and let my soul take control as everyone began to dance.


Unfortunately, after the fun dancing part, came the heart stopping, adrenaline pumping part. The crowning.


I remember there sitting in my chair, the sentence 'And the 2016 Albert County Exhibition Queen is... Brooklyn Wilkins!' whispering tauntingly in the back of my head, but I quickly corrected myself, reminding myself that it was my first year, and there were some girls here that had been in it multiple times, that the crown usually went to a grad student, and that I was only in grade 10.


They announced the Miss Congeniality, a girl who had talked to basically everyone, and helped out a lot in the dance, I myself had voted for her.


2nd Princess, a girl who was in my grade, and actually a some what close friend of mine.


1st Princess was surprisingly the same girl who one Miss Congeniality!


And then it was time for the Queen. At this point I had told myself 'Well, there's always next year' , and my older sister told me that she had actually began to put away her camera.


The judge began to give the usual speech. 'Before I announce this years Queen, I just like to say that we would give it to all of you if we could, you are all such amazing young ladies, but sadly we cannot. So this years Albert County Exhibition Queen is... Brooklyn Wilkins.'


I could of sworn I got whiplash from how fast my head shot up. In a daze of shock, I stood up, walking towards last years Queen, who traditionally crowns the new queen, and allowed her to place a sash reading 'ACE QUEEN 2016' in bold, gold letters, a velvety, purple cape, and of course a beautiful tiara on me. I could hear the area where my family was sitting screaming in applause. I remember being herded towards the other winners for pictures, lots of pictures, and repeating the judges words in my head.

I don't think it even really sunk in until I saw my family waiting for me by stage. We laughed and cried and took even more pictures, and I was honestly the happiest I had been in a long time.


The rest of the weekend was spent with me giving up many hours for my 'Queenly Duties' This included participating in a parade, handing out ribbons for the many contests and events, accepting many 'congratulations', and visiting the local nursing home. In total I spent a tiring 37 hours there that weekend, and was pooped out by the time it was all over.

     Now this wouldn't be a 'Nerdy Blogger' post if I didn't include some kind of life lesson, or deep take on this entire thing.


What I really learned from that weekend is don't underestimate yourself, that you are capable than so much more than you think, and that it doesn't matter your size, race, hair colour, eye colour, gender, anything, all that matters is it's what you hold on the inside that counts.


 And I know that all sounds so very cliché but it's the truth! I don't care if you are small or big, short or tall, black or white. If you are kind, and nice to those around you, even if they aren't so nice to you, you are truly gorgeous and it's up to you to show off that beauty to the world.


And if you find your way to shine, but you think that you can't do it, or that you'd only fail in the end, don't listen to yourself. Take it from me, accepting that one opportunity can open a world of other doors, because of that weekend I was invited to enter the Miss Teen Atlantic Canada pageant in Dieppe and was encouraged to enter by an army of people.


So when life gives you an opportunity, please give yourself the biggest gift you can and accept it.


Always Smiling,
The Nerdy Blogger
(Brooklyn Wilkins)


P.S. QUOTE OF THE POST!! "They asked her 'How did you free yourself?' She answered 'By embracing my own power.' ~ Yung Pueblo